How Can Horses Help Leaders Build Confidence

Great question. One does not have to be a rider to understand what horses have to teach us about communication and confidence. Dawn, a young professional, came to work with us at Next Stage Equine Facilitated Coaching because she wanted to discover how she could communicate confidently and get better at setting boundaries with others.  #horsesasteachers

It wasn’t that she did not know what she wanted to communicate. Instead, it seemed that when she needed to have a meaningful conversation, she would lose her confidence at the first hint of pushback. Her emotions would rise and, rather than letting them inform, she would make herself wrong and give in.  Enter Navajo. Navajo is a big boy, 26-year-old Clydesdale, Quarterhorse and Belgian cross. Navajo has a mind of his own, and if your communication with him is not clear, he will decide how it is going to be.

Dawn’s task was to lead him in a big open field. She started walking with him, and things went well at first. There came the point when Navajo wanted to switch the direction they were travelling. Dawn asked him non-verbally and gently to stay with her. She pulled a little on the lead rope, but when he insisted on going in another direction, Dawn dropped the lead rope and let him walk away.  When I coached Dawn to discover what was arising within her, she could draw a similarity with what happens in conversation when the other wants to take it off track, tell her she is wrong, disagree or argue. In noticing the similarities, the next step was to coach Dawn to develop her ‘felt sense’ about that. What does it feel like in her body when this situation happens?  Dawn had not thought about that before. Once she paid attention and began to notice, she could describe exactly how it felt. Her breathing was short and shallow, shoulders slumped and heavy, and she spoke of a sense of being ‘closed off’ in her solar plexus. The solar plexus chakra is the power centre and rules our personal power. Dawn certainly was not feeling like she could access her control or personal power. 

Now horses are masters at reading their environment. Their survival depends on it. Simply put, they have a huge heart – five times bigger than that of a human –  and it is their heart’s electromagnetic field picking up on the other’s energy in their environment that helps them read the intention of the other and to know how to respond.  They are reading our nervous system. They sense changes in our heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing. Dawn’s energy was low. She was not communicating with intention or confidence. Her breathing was in her throat, and her posture was closed. 

Dawn was coached to change her posture, breathe deeply and slowly into her abdomen to shift into a coherent state, and believe that she could lead this horse. When she made the shift and tried to lead Navajo again, he fell along in step beside her and walked calmly to where she needed to go. When asked what made the difference, Dawn replied, “It was more about me realizing I could take control of the situation.” By drawing attention to her inner self and shifting her frame of reference, she experienced success. Dawn was coached to hold the felt sense of this success and notice what was happening in the different areas of her body to recreate it when she needed to have a difficult conversation. 

Shortly after this encounter with Navajo, Dawn did have an opportunity to speak with a colleague about an important issue affecting their relationship. Her experience with Navajo was fresh. She remembered to shift her breathing and posture and hold the intention of goodwill as she raised the issue. She shared later about her success in that she could calmly state what she needed while holding her power and not ‘dropping the rope’ of the conversation. 

Working with horses in this way offers leaders a way to explore beyond what they think about a situation. When you work with a horse, you have to invite your whole being into the communication. It is the same with people. Our nervous systems respond to others’ energy. Ever feel agitated and not know why? It might not be you. You could be picking up on someone else’s vibe. We are just not used to reading the subtleties of each other’s energetic shifts until they become very pronounced, and sometimes then it is too late to manage the communication effectively. Horses teach us to bring the whole of ourselves to the party. Just imagine how more effective we could be if we paid attention and were attuned to one another at such a nuanced level. By paying attention to her inner state, Dawn was able to manage herself in a way that helped her maintain her center and speak from this place.

Congratulations Dawn and thank you for letting me share your story.

#coachingwithorses #equinefacilitatedcoaching #horsesandleadership #nextstageequinefacilitatedcoaching #somaticshift #leadershipdevelopment #growingmyleadership