Royal

Sometimes I can barely stand to look
The photos, the painting
Whatever form the still takes
It takes my breath
Stalls my heart for the moment
The fullness of the sensations felt
Thickness in the throat
Tightening of the plexus
Heat rising
The warning shot of grief
It will be my companion
Forever
A constant reminder of the absence of the physical you
As tears dry
Breath returns
Heart slows
It shifts
T’is joy in the remembering
The broad soft expanse of your back warm underneath my hand
Your breath mingled with mine
Soft curious together in time
Your mane off to one side
Thick, coarse, uneven
Eyes soft, full, knowing
Time with you stood still
Keeper of secrets
You knew it all
Held it
Created the space for the release
Safe, secure, full on trust
Too good for the hand of the youth who sometimes held harsher than was needed
Through the unknowing
Not yet aware that less is more
Strength not needed to hold you steady
Over time though as youth gave way to age and wisdom
The hands grew softer
The old ways gave way to the new
Knowing
A new partnership forged
T’is that I prefer to remember
The softness, stillness of the touch
Hand over the hide giving way to soothe
None before you or none after
Have what you had
Your eye into my soul
Together forever
Now at your rest the memory is all that is left
To hold, sustain, enable me to BE
In the moment and the majesty of YOU